Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Eulogy by Gregangelo

Georgette Marie Beainy “Mom” March 11, 1937 – July 13, 2014
Eulogy by Gregangelo
Delivered in Notre Dame des Victoires church
 In San Francisco on July 17 2014
I am Gregangelo, Georgette’s son, but growing up her son, I always thought my name was “bleep-bleep no good rotten son-of-a-bitchin bastard”…
It‘s true…I bleeped out the first 2 words so that I would not be breaking any commandments here today.
First off, I just want to acknowledge how truly extraordinary it is to see everyone here today. We have somehow all been absolutely inspiring, supporting and in some cases detrimental in each others lives.
But no matter what, Life and the diversity of all of our relations is beautiful.

Now most of you know my mom Georgette as the straight shooting, wickedly profane, but truly benevolent person she always was. I can’t even begin to tell you how many arguments, reprimands, assaults, and screaming matches we have had over the years, but they always resolved in “I love you” bye for now. I am sure many of you have had similar experiences.

But in the last several months of her life when she was confined both in the comfort of her home and her own deep thoughts, we started having more profound conversations about life and death, the fullness of her own life, her spirituality, her great desire and preparedness to die, yet her often extreme fear of dying…or of “Checking out” as she would say.

In the vain of these intense conversations, I had a very lucid dream which I am going to share with you all. Now keep in mind that my mom had not left her home for nearly 7 months at the time of this dream:

I dreamt she asked all of her kids to take her on a drive around the city. She wanted to see the homes that she and her extended family had lived in, buildings and neighborhoods where her family had businesses and many places in the city where she had experienced love and life. It was a trip down memory lane. We asked if there was anything else she wanted to see and she replied, “I want to go to the beach”. So we drove her out to Ocean Beach, parked, and opened the door as she wistfully gazed out at the expanse of the ocean for a while.

Finally she said, “You kids help me out and let’s walk towards the water”.
So we held her up and slowly walked together towards the shore.
When we got there she suddenly had a powerful burst of youthful energy, released herself from us and disappeared into the vast ocean.
I immediately woke up, a little shaken, and intuitively interpreted the dream to mean that she had confronted her fears of dying and was ready to “check out” ….or had possibly even already “checked out” at that moment.

I spoke to her on the phone later that day, relieved she was still with us
But opted not to tell her the dream as her response would have just been:
“What the hell is all of that psycho babble?!”

A few weeks later on a rare occasion when all of us were together in her home, I told her the dream which had vividly persisted in my mind.

She was engaged, and when I got to the end of the vision where she disappears into the ocean, she looked me in the eyes, lit up a cigarette,
And said: “You bleeping asshole, why the hell didn’t you jump in and try to save me?”

She lived a full life exactly how she wanted to, did everything she ever wanted to do, loved …or sometimes in her case disliked everyone she ever wanted to.

On the last day of her life, she knew her time had come and she prepared every detail herself, her way, so that she could lie down with dignity and breathe her last breath in the peace and perfect order of her own home.

You all have no idea how much she loved each and every one of you. 

“At dawn I was born, baptized with dew.
I bloomed happy and in love in the rays of the sun.
I slept for the night and woke up old…
You were admiring me yesterday, and I will be dust forever tomorrow.”
-Cecile Caultier & Jacques Lacombe
An excerpt from the song “Mon Amie la Rose”
Translated by Emmanuel Noel from French to English

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